note to self:

sooo, i haven't written anything here in quite a while so i'm just gonna freestyle for a minute before bed.


i only wish that everytime i looked out the window or looked up to the sky i didn't begin to think of you.
i find myself doing that quite often these days.
but i only BEGIN.
the minute i recognize this familiar feeling i stop and ask myself "is it really worth it?"
do i really want to begin, continue or end my day wondering what or how you're doing, who you're with, where you are and if i should shoot you a text or phone call?
this is the beginning of the end.
i'd been telling you for months to just let me go and i believe, after possibly having some sort of epiphany, that you realized it was for the best.
maybe you finally sat and played back all the messages i left in your mind, a thousand times over; finally realizing that what you were doing to me (to us) all this time was only torture.

maybe when you closed your eyes, you saw the devastating look of pain and lost love that drowned mine.
maybe, just maybe, during those few days that it rained, you felt a single drop that reminded you of all the tears of crushed hope that fell from my eyes everytime i looked at your face.
maybe you heard the wind blow past your ear and you heard my voice whispering a million "i love you's"
maybe you felt the warmth of the sun and it reminded you of my breath on the back of your neck.
maybe you looked out the window, or you drove down a certain street or highway...
maybe you took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere where we laughed at something stupid or argued about something logical or smiled at each other for no reason.
maybe you put your ipod on shuffle and the first song that played reminded you of me.

i will forever wear this stain on my skin that reminds me of you but
after what seems like an eternity of asking you to let me go
i think i just may be ready to do the same.
i belive it's time for us to move on.
but i'll always be a stone's throw away.