With each day that passes
My heart grows weary
For fear that this may not work.
Fear that you may not need me
And that life,before me,
Was a bowl of cherries.
And although I could just pick up and move on,
I never want to feel like I felt this way for nothing...
Truth;lies...in the eyes
Of the beholder
And what lies beneath is a broken boy
With hopes of being repaired
But too scared to let it happen.
You don't belong here,precious.
This world is too cruel for you.
So fragile,you wear a ceramic heart on your sleeve
And i'd hate to be the one to break it...
Monday, August 29, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
new edition
so once, again, i haven't posted anything on blogger in a whiiiiile.
i found myself favoring tumblr for a while cuz it was more entertaining, but realized this is more personal and suitable for self expression,poetry,reviews and other things "hope4".
so just to update you on my recent works, here's a piece i performed at Circus of the Arts II, brought to you by BlackNote collective, at limelight, august 20, 2011.
Never Ending Story (La Storia De Mi Vida)
let's talk a bit about the past/
tell me where you've been/
it's hard not to hold your hand/
we're only friends/
lips wrapped around a doobie/
mine around the rim/
i'm at the bottom of my glass/
where do i begin?
now, this is NOT love/
but i love the way you make me feel/
don't feel the need to ask/
because i know that you're for real/
but we've got to look past all the falacies/
let's make a deal/
how long does a good thing last?/
momma told me to find a man to keep me warm/
when it's cold/
poppa was a rollin stone/
he was bold/
he was a blue collar hero/
puttin' food on the table/
but i grew up believing "ever after"
was a fable/
this is a story about a girl/
in search of a lover/
she was lead to believe/
everyone was above her/
she slept her life away/
dreaming about being a queen/
waiting for her king to save her from a scene/
of a never ending story/
broke the spine/
threw it to the flame/
because of missing pages/
she'll never be the same/
we win some/
we lose some/
at least we can say we tried/
and determine our fate/
by the roll of the dice/
and i'm not afraid to love/
my feelings multiply/
but nothing lasts forever/
the story of my life/
i am the fallen one/
the angel with the scabbed wings/
who set the world ablaze/
with the fire in my eyes/
i've said it too many times/
"i won't let my feelings get the best of me"/
and "i'm done with lying alibies"/
because i feel they're always testing me/
and love will be the death of me...
yes, i've fallen hard/
but i have fallen from grace/
i can't think of you/
without seeing your face/
and i can't look at you/
without saying your name/
and i can't get that song out of my brain/
i'm not here for thrills/
i get chills when you touch my skin/
your eyes beam green/
illuminated from within/
let me chase away the clouds/
and be the calm before the storm/
i know your heart is hurting too/
cuz i know mine's a little worn/
let's be stars on the ground/
or birds in the sky/
you, a freckle on my nose/
i, a gleam in your eye/
let the record play/
and don't ask why/
just play me a song/
when i'm feeling down/
and we have built these walls/
but for whom did we build them?
held together to bandage the wounds/
you'd think something killed him/
and her, a song bird/
with broken vocal chords/
and pain bleeding out her pores/
her throat is sore/
from screaming at demons/
that made them so bitter/
but she still wants to sing/
so he'll never forget her...
"hit me one time baby/
hit me two times/
feels like you hit me three times/
in a row/
and i've got no time, no time/
to play this game with you/
if you want me then please let me know/
i've got no time,no time/
to play this game with you/
and if you don't/
then just let me go..."
i found myself favoring tumblr for a while cuz it was more entertaining, but realized this is more personal and suitable for self expression,poetry,reviews and other things "hope4".
so just to update you on my recent works, here's a piece i performed at Circus of the Arts II, brought to you by BlackNote collective, at limelight, august 20, 2011.
Never Ending Story (La Storia De Mi Vida)
let's talk a bit about the past/
tell me where you've been/
it's hard not to hold your hand/
we're only friends/
lips wrapped around a doobie/
mine around the rim/
i'm at the bottom of my glass/
where do i begin?
now, this is NOT love/
but i love the way you make me feel/
don't feel the need to ask/
because i know that you're for real/
but we've got to look past all the falacies/
let's make a deal/
how long does a good thing last?/
momma told me to find a man to keep me warm/
when it's cold/
poppa was a rollin stone/
he was bold/
he was a blue collar hero/
puttin' food on the table/
but i grew up believing "ever after"
was a fable/
this is a story about a girl/
in search of a lover/
she was lead to believe/
everyone was above her/
she slept her life away/
dreaming about being a queen/
waiting for her king to save her from a scene/
of a never ending story/
broke the spine/
threw it to the flame/
because of missing pages/
she'll never be the same/
we win some/
we lose some/
at least we can say we tried/
and determine our fate/
by the roll of the dice/
and i'm not afraid to love/
my feelings multiply/
but nothing lasts forever/
the story of my life/
i am the fallen one/
the angel with the scabbed wings/
who set the world ablaze/
with the fire in my eyes/
i've said it too many times/
"i won't let my feelings get the best of me"/
and "i'm done with lying alibies"/
because i feel they're always testing me/
and love will be the death of me...
yes, i've fallen hard/
but i have fallen from grace/
i can't think of you/
without seeing your face/
and i can't look at you/
without saying your name/
and i can't get that song out of my brain/
i'm not here for thrills/
i get chills when you touch my skin/
your eyes beam green/
illuminated from within/
let me chase away the clouds/
and be the calm before the storm/
i know your heart is hurting too/
cuz i know mine's a little worn/
let's be stars on the ground/
or birds in the sky/
you, a freckle on my nose/
i, a gleam in your eye/
let the record play/
and don't ask why/
just play me a song/
when i'm feeling down/
and we have built these walls/
but for whom did we build them?
held together to bandage the wounds/
you'd think something killed him/
and her, a song bird/
with broken vocal chords/
and pain bleeding out her pores/
her throat is sore/
from screaming at demons/
that made them so bitter/
but she still wants to sing/
so he'll never forget her...
"hit me one time baby/
hit me two times/
feels like you hit me three times/
in a row/
and i've got no time, no time/
to play this game with you/
if you want me then please let me know/
i've got no time,no time/
to play this game with you/
and if you don't/
then just let me go..."
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
note to self:
sooo, i haven't written anything here in quite a while so i'm just gonna freestyle for a minute before bed.
i only wish that everytime i looked out the window or looked up to the sky i didn't begin to think of you.
i find myself doing that quite often these days.
but i only BEGIN.
the minute i recognize this familiar feeling i stop and ask myself "is it really worth it?"
do i really want to begin, continue or end my day wondering what or how you're doing, who you're with, where you are and if i should shoot you a text or phone call?
this is the beginning of the end.
i'd been telling you for months to just let me go and i believe, after possibly having some sort of epiphany, that you realized it was for the best.
maybe you finally sat and played back all the messages i left in your mind, a thousand times over; finally realizing that what you were doing to me (to us) all this time was only torture.
maybe when you closed your eyes, you saw the devastating look of pain and lost love that drowned mine.
maybe, just maybe, during those few days that it rained, you felt a single drop that reminded you of all the tears of crushed hope that fell from my eyes everytime i looked at your face.
maybe you heard the wind blow past your ear and you heard my voice whispering a million "i love you's"
maybe you felt the warmth of the sun and it reminded you of my breath on the back of your neck.
maybe you looked out the window, or you drove down a certain street or highway...
maybe you took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere where we laughed at something stupid or argued about something logical or smiled at each other for no reason.
maybe you put your ipod on shuffle and the first song that played reminded you of me.
i will forever wear this stain on my skin that reminds me of you but
after what seems like an eternity of asking you to let me go
i think i just may be ready to do the same.
i belive it's time for us to move on.
but i'll always be a stone's throw away.
i only wish that everytime i looked out the window or looked up to the sky i didn't begin to think of you.
i find myself doing that quite often these days.
but i only BEGIN.
the minute i recognize this familiar feeling i stop and ask myself "is it really worth it?"
do i really want to begin, continue or end my day wondering what or how you're doing, who you're with, where you are and if i should shoot you a text or phone call?
this is the beginning of the end.
i'd been telling you for months to just let me go and i believe, after possibly having some sort of epiphany, that you realized it was for the best.
maybe you finally sat and played back all the messages i left in your mind, a thousand times over; finally realizing that what you were doing to me (to us) all this time was only torture.
maybe when you closed your eyes, you saw the devastating look of pain and lost love that drowned mine.
maybe, just maybe, during those few days that it rained, you felt a single drop that reminded you of all the tears of crushed hope that fell from my eyes everytime i looked at your face.
maybe you heard the wind blow past your ear and you heard my voice whispering a million "i love you's"
maybe you felt the warmth of the sun and it reminded you of my breath on the back of your neck.
maybe you looked out the window, or you drove down a certain street or highway...
maybe you took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere where we laughed at something stupid or argued about something logical or smiled at each other for no reason.
maybe you put your ipod on shuffle and the first song that played reminded you of me.
i will forever wear this stain on my skin that reminds me of you but
after what seems like an eternity of asking you to let me go
i think i just may be ready to do the same.
i belive it's time for us to move on.
but i'll always be a stone's throw away.
Monday, August 17, 2009
the goods...
so my bff/baby momma brittany was having a horrible day and i just happend to get stood up on my day off after making plans with someone the previous night.
it doesn't surprise me that this person forgot that we made plans because this person is always intoxicated in some way,shape or form...
but ANYWHO!!!!!!
i'd been CRAVING boba tea for like a week already and everytime i was in the process of finally getting some, plans would change and my hopes would go from high apple pie in the sky to low down ODB type ish.
anywho, brittany's never had boba tea before and her curiousity led us to bobalicious (which happend to be located in the same shopping center as chopsticks).
neither of us had eaten and i REALLY had my heart set on sushi because my previous plans entailed sushi happy hour at goro's (which, btw am still craving.)
so bobalicious closes at 8 and brit shows up to my house at like 15 til.
so we make it with like 5 minutes on the clock and homeboy was kind enough to make us our BOBALICIOUS smoothie/tea after i described how fatally serious my craving was. (and if you're already thinking it, NO, i am NOT preggo).
so moving forward....
i ordered the "san antonian" which consists of strawberry,avacado (and since it's milk based i had the option of soy, which i took the opportunity of substituting) and of COURSE black tapioca pearls (for those who have no idea what boba tea is).
brittany had NO IDEA how to even order so she chose a flavor and i ordered for her.
honey milk tea, shaken (not blended).
as we waited for our yummy beverages to be prepared, we sat at a table and attempted to play the game TROUBLE, which neither of us remembered how to play.
so we improvised and made up our own rules.
luckily the barista was quick enough to deliver before we got completely frustrated and knocked the table over, sending the game soaring into the shelf of many board games behind us. LOL
needless to say, they were DEEEEELISH! and it felt like a party in my mouth!
then we made our way to chopsticks which was agreed upon because i could have sushi there and brittany could induldge in whatever her little heart desired (considering she's nearly 8mnths pregnant and cannot eat raw seafood).
to be quite honest, the sushi was NOT BAD and surprisingly satisfied my taste buds and belly.
moving on to desert....
i grabbed a slice of strawberry cheesecake and a scoop of strawberry ice cream.
i took one bite of each and it was sooooo good.
on my second attempt i found this long, curly wire which resembled that of a wire brillo pad used to scrub dishes!
i was like DOUBLE YOO TEE EFF?!?!?
called the server over (who was having a really tough time with her section cuz there was like 3938267348 kids getting on her nerves) and showed her the piece of metal that i found.
brittany and i were both laughing so of course, she found humor in it and laughed with us.
i asked for her manager and as she walked away, i plotted with brittany to get our money back.
so i started coughing loudly and grabbing my throat as if i were choking.
trying her hardest not to laugh, brittany just sat back and drank her tea, while i made a scene and waited for the manager to arrive. (keep in mind our server was laughing this whole time because it really was funny)
i told him what happend and showed him the piece of metal that i claimed to have hit the back of my throat and continued to cough, explaining to him that my friend "did NOT know the heimlich maneuver" and that i "could have died" lmao!
so this little chinese man apologizes like 294534860 times in a row, takes my ticket and comes back with my money. *laughing out loud*
he walked us out, apologized again and stated how he HOPED we'd come back. hahahahahahaha
so with that money, we went to the movies and saw THE GOODS, which btw, is a fucking HILARIOUS flick that i recommend watching high.....if not, that's cool, just watch it!!!!!!
although i felt as if we were the only ones laughing to the extent which i'm assuming the producers expected(will ferrel being one of them), we still had an amazing time and this story to tell.
thank you and goodnight.
it doesn't surprise me that this person forgot that we made plans because this person is always intoxicated in some way,shape or form...
but ANYWHO!!!!!!
i'd been CRAVING boba tea for like a week already and everytime i was in the process of finally getting some, plans would change and my hopes would go from high apple pie in the sky to low down ODB type ish.
anywho, brittany's never had boba tea before and her curiousity led us to bobalicious (which happend to be located in the same shopping center as chopsticks).
neither of us had eaten and i REALLY had my heart set on sushi because my previous plans entailed sushi happy hour at goro's (which, btw am still craving.)
so bobalicious closes at 8 and brit shows up to my house at like 15 til.
so we make it with like 5 minutes on the clock and homeboy was kind enough to make us our BOBALICIOUS smoothie/tea after i described how fatally serious my craving was. (and if you're already thinking it, NO, i am NOT preggo).
so moving forward....
i ordered the "san antonian" which consists of strawberry,avacado (and since it's milk based i had the option of soy, which i took the opportunity of substituting) and of COURSE black tapioca pearls (for those who have no idea what boba tea is).
brittany had NO IDEA how to even order so she chose a flavor and i ordered for her.
honey milk tea, shaken (not blended).
as we waited for our yummy beverages to be prepared, we sat at a table and attempted to play the game TROUBLE, which neither of us remembered how to play.
so we improvised and made up our own rules.
luckily the barista was quick enough to deliver before we got completely frustrated and knocked the table over, sending the game soaring into the shelf of many board games behind us. LOL
needless to say, they were DEEEEELISH! and it felt like a party in my mouth!
then we made our way to chopsticks which was agreed upon because i could have sushi there and brittany could induldge in whatever her little heart desired (considering she's nearly 8mnths pregnant and cannot eat raw seafood).
to be quite honest, the sushi was NOT BAD and surprisingly satisfied my taste buds and belly.
moving on to desert....
i grabbed a slice of strawberry cheesecake and a scoop of strawberry ice cream.
i took one bite of each and it was sooooo good.
on my second attempt i found this long, curly wire which resembled that of a wire brillo pad used to scrub dishes!
i was like DOUBLE YOO TEE EFF?!?!?
called the server over (who was having a really tough time with her section cuz there was like 3938267348 kids getting on her nerves) and showed her the piece of metal that i found.
brittany and i were both laughing so of course, she found humor in it and laughed with us.
i asked for her manager and as she walked away, i plotted with brittany to get our money back.
so i started coughing loudly and grabbing my throat as if i were choking.
trying her hardest not to laugh, brittany just sat back and drank her tea, while i made a scene and waited for the manager to arrive. (keep in mind our server was laughing this whole time because it really was funny)
i told him what happend and showed him the piece of metal that i claimed to have hit the back of my throat and continued to cough, explaining to him that my friend "did NOT know the heimlich maneuver" and that i "could have died" lmao!
so this little chinese man apologizes like 294534860 times in a row, takes my ticket and comes back with my money. *laughing out loud*
he walked us out, apologized again and stated how he HOPED we'd come back. hahahahahahaha
so with that money, we went to the movies and saw THE GOODS, which btw, is a fucking HILARIOUS flick that i recommend watching high.....if not, that's cool, just watch it!!!!!!
although i felt as if we were the only ones laughing to the extent which i'm assuming the producers expected(will ferrel being one of them), we still had an amazing time and this story to tell.
thank you and goodnight.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
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