2000 swine!!!

ugh all this swine flu talk is making me sick!
i've been feeling a bit "unhealthy" since last saturday! it's almost been a week!
it started out with a sinus headache and now it's branched off to migranes! i cant stand it anymore.
today was the worst though. i think working at the goodwill made it worse.
touching all those dirty,bacteria infested clothes...ugh!
my hands were all grimey and i could feel the dirt and bacteria making its way into my lungs.
it made it hard to breath.
i dont want to go back but i have to.
i feel a little better now though. i took some sudafed pe and it relieved a LOT of that sinus pressure in my head. it was horrible! so bad i skipped community service and slept all day.
erin doesnt feel good either :(
she's had a cough for the past couple of days which scares me cuz she's at a hight risk of getting sick.
i miss her.
i havent seen her in months and it kills me!
i mean we talk on the phone and whatnot but thats nothing compared to the image of that beautiful smile and that unmistakeable(spell check?) laugh.
she makes me darkest days brighter than the sun.
just the sound of her voice makes me smile.
i spoke to her briefly a while ago but neither of us are feeling good so we hung up.
i hope i get to see her soon.
i hate the way her parents keep her locked in a cage. poor girl.
like it's not bad enough she has cancer and has to go through chemo and radiation.
she has to spend her days miserably bored with no social life other than myspace and her cell phone?
what kind of life is that?
do you really want your child to become depressed and despiteful of you?
i mean, come on give the girl a break!
she's young and has littlel to no friends!
thats not healthy! especially at a time like this.
she needs friends and support more than she ever will in her life and you're gonna take that away from her too?
some parents just dont get it.
i passed by palm heights church the other day and i always read the bulletin board.
it said "parents can tell but never teach until they practice what they preach"

good one.

what is time but a waiting period that's being occupied by distraction?

i'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
i had a series of dreams the other night that all contained water or liquid of some sort.
shower,toilet,urine,water slide, dirty/muddy swimming pool and feces.
i wont get completely into detail but i looked further into these dreams and they resemble my need to clarify my mind, body and soul.
i'm being swept away by my emotions and allowing them to overcome me.
i'm being too "passive" with these feelings and need to deal with them.
i mean, these are things that i know subconciously but it means so much more when it comes to you in this form. like my subconcoious was so overwhelmed with suppressed feelings that it needed to show me what i need to do before it's too late.
i've been stressing about a LOT of things lately. work, money, probation, my relationships with others....
i do this often.
i guess i've been supressing these emotions because i've felt them so many times, over and over before.
it drains me to the point of tears.
i cant sleep at night and when i finally do, it's morning and there's no use.
i try so hard NOT to let it overwhelm me but i'm just a giant ball of emotion.
i have writers block. i lack motivation. you would think this would encourage me but all i want to do is sleep. it distracts me from what's really going on around me.
well, usually.
i haven't been to the studio in a couple months.
i've got tracks written and ready to be recorded but i never have time because i practically LIVE at the shop.
i dont mind being here. it's my life. i chose it. i enjoy it. but it leaves no time for extra curricular activities.
i sing often. i make up songs while im in the shower. it soothes me.
i sing in my sleep. last night it was hometown glory by adele. it was nice.
i guess what i'm trying to say is....i'm sad.

Team Sleep