if i said you consumed my thoughts...

would it make you feel any different?

Everything I Never Wanted

I had already fallen in love...
I remember the first time we met,
You sat in the backseat while we drove in circles,
Looking for your destination
And i was not interested in turning around.
Throughout the ride, i heard your voice
Behind the booms and baps coming through the speakers
And i felt your breath with every word you spoke
About nothing...

3 yrs later you came back.
We rekindled what was never introduced.
We spoke to each other as if we'd never met
And i think i'd convinced myself that we hadn't.
It had been so long that i had forgotten
The voice behind the booms and baps
And looked at you as if i'd never seen that face.
A few days passed and you said you wanted to kiss me...
And you did;
With no hesitation or fear that i might decline.
Your mouth screamed confidence
And when my lips met yours,
It was the beginning of everything i never wanted.
I never wanted you to take me home.
I never wanted you to leave town.
I never wanted to miss you.
I only wanted to know who you were
Because at that point,
All you were was that voice
Behind the booms and the baps
And the face in the backseat of a car
I never rode in again.

A few days passed
And by that time you had me at
"I really wanna kiss you right now".
We stayed up late and ate your favorite snacks
After you smoked a couple stoges
But i didn't mind...
You called me "kinder fruisse"
Because it meant "baby fruit".
You said i was sweet.
We exchanged thoughts and feelings
About music and religion,
Politics and what the world was coming to.
I felt like i had known you for years
But i never wanted this to happen...

Summer came and went;
You went home
And then, i fell in love with your handwriting
Because i asked for more.
I fell in love with your pictures
Because letters just weren't enough.
Before i knew it, you were back again...
And this went on for a few years.
Back and forth,
Back and forth...
Each time my heart broke a little more.
Each time you took a piece of me with you,
Until there was nothing left.
You traveled the globe and sent me photos
But those just weren't enough.
You spoke of settling here when you got back
But that turned into something i never wanted.
I never wanted you to come and go again.
I never wanted to miss you.
I never wanted to feel like i'd been fighting
for something that wasn't mine.

Summer came and went,
And so did you.

and after 14 years,still not a day goes by that i don't think of you. my poppa was a rolling stone.