requerdos...

i remember the first time our eyes met in a different light.
we stared at our feet all night and the minute i decided to look up, you did the same...and we were re-introduced.

i remember the look in your eyes when i said i was down to roll with you.
i remember the ride home.
i remember gettin' there. lying there. staring at the glowing box in front of your bed.
getting comfortable and waiting.

you: "does this feel right to you?"
me: "yeah"

i remember your head in my hands and my head in yours and both our hearts beating prefusely with nerves and emotion,hesitation,confusion,want, and need all at the same time....
when our lips met for the very first time it was like the missing piece to my puzzeled little brain that had been waiting for this feeling for so long.
they fit so perfectly.
moved so perfectly...
it was like it had been premeditated for years.
your hands knew mine.
my hands embraced yours.
and our bodies connected instantly.
all hesitation vanished.
and any question as to weather or not this felt right dissappeard just as quickly.
it was like we already knew each other.
i opened my eyes every once in a while to see the satisfaction on your face.
and then i closed them instantly before you caught me.
i felt like i was where i belonged.
i couldn't sleep cuz all i could think about was you and you were right next to me.
i guess i was just waiting for tomorrow so the feeling would linger into the next day...
which it did.
and into the next.
and the next...
and then....you disappeard.

i then realized, it was only a dream.


be careful what you hope for.

recooping

from the past couple days.
partied too hard from friday til saturday morning.
haven't done that in a looooong time!
slept all through saturday night and i still feel like shit.
my equilibrium is off. my body aches. and my mind is elsewhere.
still grinding harder than ever though!
need to make more dough so i can catch santogold tomorrow!!!!!
missin' a certain someone occupies all my free time these days.
cant seem to think of anything else...
maybe that's why my head hurts so badly....ugh
i'm over it.

my short stay in atx

was cool.
nothing major but the company was dope.
dank,pills,,music,downtown,and other things.
i wouldnt mind living there.
i just need to become familiar with the city.
had a good time spending time with the person i was with.
came back happier than ever.
new feelings, new perspective, new friend. NEW HOPE.

i met...

the dopest person i already knew ;)












that is all.




anita.syne

what happends next?

what happens when you realize the people you surround yoruself with have had enough of you?
and vice versa.
the people you call your "brothers" and "sisters" become "that dude" or "that chick"
"that dude is wilin' yo"

what happens when you get to the point where you absolutely have to escape the place you call home to feel safe and vulnerable to positive energy?

what happens when you come to a point in time when you're constantly questioning yourself?
what am i gonna do?
who am i gonna rely on?
who's real?

sadly, people grow apart...
or tired of each other, for that matter.
i strongly believe in time and space.
i love my friends dearly.
i care.
i support.
i'm down.
but what about me?

lately i was told "you only think about yourself"
it's true.
it's my turn.
this is MY journey.
i need some "ME" time ya'll!
i need to focus on MY career and MY relationships.
MY happiness. MY needs. MY habits. MY faults. MY choices, MY mistakes. MY insecurities. MY hustle. MY emotions. MY lack, there of.
i'm constantly asking myself why so many relationships fail...
i realized it's because we need to love and support ourselves fully and individually before we attempt to do that for each other.
it's only fair.
for us as people. as individuals. as humans.
i'm not saying i want to be alone. or be left alone for that matter.
all i'm saying, is do YOU and let ME do ME...
and we'll meet somewhere in the middle.
my heart is way too heavy with my own emotions to be responsible for someone elses...

so what happens next?